i would punch a child for taco bell
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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