I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize