im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
