He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
God, I missed his penis.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
