I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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