Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
