And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
