No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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