booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
We are two peas in an std pod
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Randomize
