So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
