i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Houston, we have a blender
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
