pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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