Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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