I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
