hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
