I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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