party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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