I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize