can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize