oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
