I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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