Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
did you just send me my own nude
Randomize
