So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
