were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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