i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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