I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
