i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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