I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
no. you can't hotbox the world.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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