Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
