Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I have fence marks all over my body
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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