I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize