break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
