This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
