I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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