No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
organizing the empties. That sober.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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