This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
you never un-have a 4some
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