and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize