Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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