I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I need to sanitize my soul.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
