would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
