Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
