: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
