The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
