Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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