And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
