school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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