i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
