Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
We don't watch enough power rangers
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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