we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize