you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
