What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
he laminated a picture of his dick.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
