Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
