i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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