Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
