I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
