I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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