So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
