toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
And then my night got REAL pukey
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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