is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize