tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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